You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
