Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
