Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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