It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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