Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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