I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
