OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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