I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
