Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
