But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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