I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
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I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
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I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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