I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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