it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
