i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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