GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
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