Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
