If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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