life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
