I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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