Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize