is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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