Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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