We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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