Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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