I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
