Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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