I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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