How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize