The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
