two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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