i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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