my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
