I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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