Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
