Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
