kristin has been a bad kristin
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
What a dumb baby whore.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
