quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
