Christians are straight up FREAKS
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
