I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
