We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
