there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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