she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
