do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
