OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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