real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
