No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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