Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize