you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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