I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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