I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
