All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
