the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.