i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me