Texts From Last Night

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  (727): View more from Florida

  Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...

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  (727): Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons... http://tfl.nu/8jcz
  Replies (16) Good night (4732) Bad night (1088)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.

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  (912): There is a distinct lack of front teeth here. http://tfl.nu/ak90
  Replies (25) Good night (834) Bad night (5993)
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  (818): View more from California

  I'm like cupid

  (1-818): View more from California

  You're a whore with a bow and arrow

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  (818): I'm like cupid (1-818): You're a whore with a bow and arrow http://tfl.nu/a0h0
  Replies (14) Good night (5219) Bad night (882)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.

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  (816): She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years. http://tfl.nu/8lob
  Replies (19) Good night (1943) Bad night (5628)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.

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  (954): He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up. http://tfl.nu/a8fn
  Replies (13) Good night (4724) Bad night (1023)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.

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  (647): we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana. http://tfl.nu/zk8n
  Replies (6) Good night (3103) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.

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  (410): So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie. http://tfl.nu/7rxk
  Replies (13) Good night (1623) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.

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  (856): he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio.. (856): i wasnt really sure how to responde to that. http://tfl.nu/m794
  Replies (9) Good night (673) Bad night (1705)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.

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  (219): Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel. http://tfl.nu/qebb
  Replies (8) Good night (2348) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.

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  (315): I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me. http://tfl.nu/d1qj
  Replies (3) Good night (556) Bad night (316)
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  (488): View more from

  I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover

  (441): View more from Bermuda-Carib

  Omg I can't even...

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  (488): I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover (441): Omg I can't even... http://tfl.nu/8sa0
  Replies (1) Good night (395) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.

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  (801): My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company. http://tfl.nu/z43d
  Replies (1) Good night (283) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.

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  (217): He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over. http://tfl.nu/px42
  Replies (1) Good night (1169) Bad night (204)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch

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  (828): I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch http://tfl.nu/l90t
  Replies (1) Good night (415) Bad night (184)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.

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  (780): He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out. http://tfl.nu/cpib
  Replies (4) Good night (837) Bad night (260)

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