Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I am puke

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  (617): I am puke http://tfl.nu/8ec4
  Replies (2) Good night (816) Bad night (1126)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me

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  (773): i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me http://tfl.nu/svmp
  Replies (37) Good night (747) Bad night (3027)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur

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  (843): woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur http://tfl.nu/wpeh
  Replies (31) Good night (4866) Bad night (790)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.

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  (507): Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over. http://tfl.nu/ztri
  Replies (7) Good night (2445) Bad night (1594)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.

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  (815): I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much. http://tfl.nu/aut4
  Replies (12) Good night (3192) Bad night (1924)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right

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  (724): you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right http://tfl.nu/sfkm
  Replies (20) Good night (4678) Bad night (1850)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it

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  (406): stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it http://tfl.nu/40em
  Replies (8) Good night (682) Bad night (2247)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.

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  (703): I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer. http://tfl.nu/bgxs
  Replies (8) Good night (2662) Bad night (613)
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  (925): View more from California

  she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out

  (1-925): View more from California

  this was your mom?

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  (925): she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out (1-925): this was your mom? http://tfl.nu/x3f7
  Replies (4) Good night (1321) Bad night (642)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.

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  (616): I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady. http://tfl.nu/ufs6
  Replies (3) Good night (1964) Bad night (653)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.

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  (202): BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work. http://tfl.nu/abpr
  Replies (27) Good night (518) Bad night (2274)
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  (760): View more from California

  So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.

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  (760): So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related. http://tfl.nu/jwal
  Replies (5) Good night (1370) Bad night (255)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.

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  (469): He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out. http://tfl.nu/vcz5
  Replies (4) Good night (882) Bad night (230)
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  (408): View more from California

  I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.

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  (408): I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms. http://tfl.nu/0beo
  Replies (2) Good night (399) Bad night (565)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.

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  (705): I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud. http://tfl.nu/4ep3
  Replies (0) Good night (393) Bad night (218)

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