Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.

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  (415): Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it. http://tfl.nu/inu8
  Replies (10) Good night (5413) Bad night (756)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.

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  (623): were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds. http://tfl.nu/6mgz
  Replies (41) Good night (4354) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture

  (1-336): View more from North Carolina

  Glad to see your being a lady about this

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  (336): I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture (1-336): Glad to see your being a lady about this http://tfl.nu/pcgd
  Replies (49) Good night (9637) Bad night (1439)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.

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  (402): Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance. http://tfl.nu/wzxx
  Replies (8) Good night (1120) Bad night (2924)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"

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  (412): She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan" http://tfl.nu/9he5
  Replies (15) Good night (1220) Bad night (4524)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.

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  (915): Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding. http://tfl.nu/j8kt
  Replies (5) Good night (2028) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  He asked if I wanted to "hang out"

  (410): View more from Maryland

  A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"

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  (410): He asked if I wanted to "hang out" (410): A verb which here means "do lines off my dick" http://tfl.nu/6cb5
  Replies (9) Good night (3334) Bad night (1301)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS

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  (603): ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS http://tfl.nu/rbdc
  Replies (12) Good night (1939) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.

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  (412): He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit. http://tfl.nu/k42l
  Replies (5) Good night (1772) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.

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  (515): I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that. http://tfl.nu/ig7j
  Replies (7) Good night (1526) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine

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  (703): Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine http://tfl.nu/dwth
  Replies (5) Good night (1194) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.

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  (336): Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings. http://tfl.nu/e4bs
  Replies (6) Good night (1094) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.

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  (337): Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday. http://tfl.nu/gphh
  Replies (1) Good night (1084) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.

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  (612): you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing. http://tfl.nu/yg2q
  Replies (3) Good night (988) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem

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  (905): My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem http://tfl.nu/inws
  Replies (2) Good night (333) Bad night (656)

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