Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
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recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
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Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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