she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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