im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about my life...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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