I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I don't deserve a penis
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
