The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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