something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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