Someone shit on the floor
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
