I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Alive.
So much puke
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize