I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize