i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
