pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
