I just made out with a guy for $7.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
