She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
