giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
