Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
