It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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